Transvestite vs transsexual
This article focuses on explaining elementary terms and I'll add few personal advices that could help, especially if you're searching for "yourself". Please note, those opinions are subjective - they are based on my personal experiences and observations. I'll also explain difference between sexuality and gender.
- transvestite (abbreviation TV) - a person, that dresses into clothes of opposite sex. The driving mechanism could be sexuality, fetishism or assexual need to impersonate a woman. The change can include complete outer change: make up / styling the hair / wig and clothes of opposite sex. A transvestite doesn't want a sex change, he is satisfied with his gender. Check also the Wikipedia definition
- crossdresser (abbreviation CD) - the same as transvestite, but crossdresser is satisfied with a partial transformation. For example he puts up only a skirt or lingerie. Check also the Wikipedia definition
- transsexual (abbreviation TS) - a person, who personally feels to be born in the wrong body (body of opposite sex). That means a transsexual desires to have a body of opposite sex and to be perceived as person he desires to be. Some of them even undergo a sex-change operation. Check also the Wikipedia definition
- tranny, trannie - informal spoken expression, identifying transvestites and a transsexuals. Some think it's rude, in my opinion it's absolutely normal.
- transgender - term identifying / concerning crossdressers, transvestites and transsexuals. Trans means in Latin “through” or "cross", so freely translating it's like "changing lanes"
- shemale, ladyboy - spoken term used in erotic industry. Mostly they mark transsexuals without main sex-change operation (pre-op TS).
- drag queen - term used in entertainment industry.
What I'm I?
I'm sure some of you asked yourself this question already. Differences between TV and TS are sometimes very small, and it's even harder to distinguish in individual cases. In most cases though, it starts with transvestism and develops into transsexualism. A transvestite realizes, the reason for dressing like a woman is he wants really become one. Of course there is an endless number of factors that have impact on psychology and a formation of a transvestite / transsexual, but those rather topic of scientific discussions.
- don't suppress it and accept yourself - most of TV/CD/TS people tend to suppress their otherness, mainly because they afraid of mockery and non-tolerance in nowadays society. You may be afraid of public condemnation, obstacles or mockery, anyway you shouldn't suppress what you feel. Often you try to suppress these feelings by intense work, sports, drinking or even drugs. But believe me, from my personal experience I know this doesn't help. Suppressing yourself, avoiding solving real mental issues can lead into heavy psychoses, which are really serious and could be hard to get through. You are, what you are. No one has the right to tell you what you should be
- find help - tell it to your friends / girlfriends or families, or find a professional help of therapist (psychology , sexology). Explain what it means, how you feel about it. If scared, tell at least a very good friend, A real friend will not mock you , personally I know it was an amazing enlightenment to tell my friends
- think about what you desire and want - if you want only get dressed secretly at home or go out, or even a sex-change. But don't push it!
- don't say, I can't, but ACT! - so many trannies says, they can't be themselves, saying they have no space, opportunity or premises, etc. You can dream about it or you can act. If you want to find a way, you'll find it. Even I was like that, I complained to an English trannie and she said: "If you don't want to, you search for reasons. If you want to, you search for ways." AN d that changed my mind, cause I realized she was right. I can wait that life gets someone into my path that will do my makeup or I can learn it. I can spend endless hours chatting & complaining on net or I can read something that relates to me. I can say I don't have conditions / opportunities or I can try to create them. Conclusion? Act, it's the only way to change your life.
- meet similar people - talking to people with similar people help a lot. There are meeting just for trannies, be it social or entertainment event. For start you can find friends online, but don't spend too much time chatting only online. Your real problem doesn't get solved via net, use net only as a tool for finding people. Don't do the same mistake as I did, I used it to create some form of social existence. Real friendship builds up mostly on personal contact!
- don't worry about your looks - some trannies say „ I don't have it simply, so I'm not going to do it”. Nonsense, no one is ideal. I myself have days when I tell myself I'm ugly, but I know I'm what I'm. there are thing sI can change and the things I can't change. Care rather about your soul, you will not have a nice impact on people if you wiill not be more balanced. I got the best feedback from people when I was balanced, but not when I was nervous / sad / unsure.
Gender versus sexuality
Transgender people are special because they differentiate gender and sexuality , what is not common in society. Men are normally men, act like men and are attracted to women. What some people don't know a trannie can be heterosexual, bisexual or gay. There are happy marriages when there is a woman and a man-transvestite. Being a trannie doesn't automatically mean you are gay. It's only a very simplified scheme produced by bourgeois people/ But the most important thing is understanding, your sexuality is only your business, no one elses'. People should care about themselves, not about others.